on fire

It took me a while to fall asleep. I was exhausted, but my brain was still in third gear. There were a lot of dreams. About my dead gramma. About a tall robot (its thighs were at cloud level) who stomps on homes and captures residents. I was in the toilet when the community alarm went off. I peeked through the door and saw the robot's feet at a distance. I switched off the lights. And crouched lower when I saw it heading towards my direction. But it's never come close to this area before, I thought. The next thing I know, the walls around me crashed and crumbled, and I was shivering in the middle like a peeled banana. The robot picked me up with his fingers and strode to another direction. Would there be more like this one? Is there a robot community just like ours somewhere? My brain was screaming out questions even though I was scared shitless. Suddenly, my throat caught fire.

I sat up in a jerk. Wiped saliva off my face and swallowed. And my eyes bugged. My throat was really on fire. Hurt like a bitch, it did. My head was pounding. Wha...? Why is this happening all of a sudden? I was perfectly fine when I went to sleep. Okay, maybe my gums were slightly inflamed, but that could be fixed if I drink more water. No biggie.

I was practically voiceless when I went into the doctor's room. He said he hasn't seen any inflammation as bad as this for months. Yea it's gotta be bad, my saliva feels like lava swooshing around and I saw how chilli-red my throat was. What super breed of virus could do this in a few hours? Sigh.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but you'll be in pain for 2 more days. There's no point for me to prescribe antibiotics for you now, they won't work. I'm gonna give you painkillers, alright?"

Fuck.

chicken game

Was browsing through the net for supergengchow names for my client's chicken wings and drumsticks when I came across this. Just find it too cute to be true. Next time I know what to do when the bosses are not in! Muahahahaha.

Been wanting to post pictures from my Singapore gathering with the Sistahs but my monitor at home went kaput after I downloaded the pictures into the computer. Bummer. Now I can't do anything until Samsung sends me a new one or I go buy one myself. Or maybe, just maybe... I could persuade brother to carry his from downstairs to my room...

My weekend was great! Although I spent not more than 24 hours with Ange, E/E and LCL, we had really some quality time. Been ages since I've laughed that hard. I hate to think we're all grown up now, and soon we'll be doing crappy grown up stuff like get married, have kids, talk about nothing else but what diaper brands are good etc.

I miss high school years.

valentine's day

I came to work this morning to this. And promptly forgave KC for not being able to be with me. Balloons work for me. All the time.

To those who didn't get balloons: Happy unimaginative, consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance day.

the descent

The Descent is an awesome movie. A lot of firsts for me. Very likely the only British movie that I enjoyed whole-heartedly. First of all, 100% of the main cast are female. I've never seen any movie that didn't have men (the husband that appeared for less than 5 minutes in the beginning didn't count). Secondly, there wasn't any holding back in the gore and scare department. I was pleasantly surprised at how many gruesome scenes actually escaped the censorship board. Maybe there was too much and they didn't know where to start censoring without killing the whole movie. Muahahaha. My gain. Thirdly, it was my first outing with 10+ non-straight guys. I was totally enthralled by their drama-queen expressions, explicit sexual comments, openness to hugging and touching... etc. We drew a lot of attention, especially when 2 of the guys screamed louder than the actresses at certain scenes. Truly enlightening experience. Social suicide? I'm not making a conclusion yet. They're loud, bitchy and over-sensitive... but totally honest. And I can't walk hand-in-hand with "normal" guys without worrying about intention.

But I really need some adjusting to comments like "Did you see how huge her boobs look when she was jogging in that skintight thing? It's soft and bouncy and... totally gross!"

Haha.

helium

Valentine's Day suck balls.

Restaurants come up with fancy named super marked-up menus, nevermind, we all know already. Florists come up with fancy named super marked-up bouquets, hoho, flowers are necessities, can accept. But I conclude that V-Day suck balls because I was asking a balloon/bouquet store the price for filling up my balloons with helium for someone's graduation tomorrow, and guess how much the bitch quoted? THREE bucks each. Like hell I'm gonna pay THREE bucks for air. I am supplying the balloons. I even have the shiny twirly loops to hold the balloons together. And all of those cost less than the helium. Fuck, they're selling helium balloons twisted into the shape of your choice at two bucks in pasar malams.

I was so angry.

Then I proceeded to clean up my room and toilet and bath. And saw my present tucked into a corner which I don't even breathe in the entire year. Hoho. My surprise V-Day pressie. Blame it on the damn helium, blame it on its laziness to keep it at home... but KC's cover is so blown.

It's a Seiko watch. I think. I hope. From the silver box with Seiko printed up front.

Valentine's Day isn't so bad after all. Hahahahahaha.

movie quiz

And I thought I watch a lot of movies. I'm quite disappointed, really, with my score. I only managed to figure 12 out of 30 (some are wild guesses). Don't I just hate to lose. Please let me know the movie titles here if you ever manage to crack all of them.

animal friends

Animal friends in Gramma's house include a lot of chicken who're happily munching on leftover veggies from our steamboat session. There used to be ducks, geese and turkeys sharing the quarters too. And have I mentioned rabbits, guinae pigs and hamsters? Yea, Gramma and I used to walk to deserted fields to pluck wild plants for them to eat. It's their favourite, Gramma said. So I kept quiet about the leeches between my toes.

This is the chief house pet with no name. She responds to anything when she's hungry and nothing when she's feeling sulky. Very tame. Always begging for food.

This tabby doesn't reside at Gramma's. She visits when she sees fit. Caused chaos when she decided to frolick around at 3a.m. when we're staying up to guard Gramma's coffin. Three voices gasped in unison when she ran under the coffin. Good thing she's not black or all the sci-fi stories we read would have us fleeing from an imaginary zombie.

Another semi-permanent visitor. I was happily scratching her neck when my cousin exclaimed in surprise that she didn't bite me. Must be the maternal magic touch I got.

gramma

It seems like a good day to leave. The sky the bluest of blue with no hint of rain clouds. The warm breeze sleepy and muted from nights of fireworks, rich food and merry making. The help gently removes the drip and oxygen mask.

You're home, says someone.
She smiles and nods.

She's really quite something. Never one to ask for help if she can manage. And manage well she did. Six children with offspring of their own, a grocery store and uncountable house pets. Illiterate she was, but she can speak Malay and a few dialects in Chinese fluently. After knowing the Lord, she surprises her grandchildren by learning to read the lyrics to her favourite worship songs - at the age of 80.

Her breathing slowly becomes laboured. Although the doctors say she will not be in pain, that her high toxic level will sedate her, it is still painful to see her fighting to be with us longer.

She cooks wonderfully. Never will I taste such beautiful soup. The strength that she demonstrates, the passion that she infuses into whatever she does will be my balm in difficult times. Shifting furniture and grocery goods to a new home 40 minutes away with just a pushcart and a few bicycles, helping to build a grocery shop and a home from scratch - if she can do all these, nothing should bring me down. Some of the determination must have been passed on to the grand-daughter.

The laboured huffs gradually become silent, then still.

I'm sorry I hadn't spent more time with you when I could, Gramma. There are still so many things I want to ask, like what did Grampa and yourself call each other, how was it like being in this new place without knowing anyone or the language when you first moved in and so on. But I'm glad I held your hand at the ward. I know you're the proper, shy type that don't hug or caress to show your love. Thank you for not pulling away. Thank you for squeezing my hand and smiling back at me, although I would prefer you to not shyly pull away when the other cousins came back. I should have done this a long time ago, then maybe I would have the courage to hug you and kiss you and tell you how much you mean to me.

The time for grieving and missing Gramma will come to pass.
Then it is time for rejoicing in her unity with the Lord and husband and other loved ones.
After all, our ending... is God's beginning.