maori tattoo

I had my second tattoo done yesterday. It's a Maori design specially crafted to fit in certain alphabets (free ice-cream to those who can decipher them!). I had to literally go down on my knees (oh you dirrrrty little fella) to beg Simon the tattoo-artist for this after he rejected my original butterfly design ("What the fuck is wrong with you girls and this particular butterfly design? I did 6 of these this month alone!") and spat in disdain when I asked him for another dolphin tattoo ("It's fucking sissy!") to match my first.

After getting my first tattoo on my birthday 2 years back, I vowed to get one done annually but I missed out last year's as I was heartlessly ditched somewhere around my birthday and was more in the mood to karate-kick helpless old ladies, set a dog on fire and stab ignorant noisy children with blunt forks. And no, yesterday wasn't my birthday. So why did I do it? Let us now dissect this mystery-shrouded incident.

I showed a client my tattoo a few months back. And she's been bugging me to bring her to have one done ever since. After procrastinating and postponing and cooking up excuses, I finally couldn't put it off any longer. Anyway, KC's (it's a wonder how I manage to influence most of my partners to have permanent brandings done on their bodies - very, very sinful) needs some touch-up, so all's cool as long as I'm not driving. We had a dreadful time. The normally soft-spoken and amiable client morphed into a prima donna bitch-o-maniac and flung cleverly subtle demands (still irritatingly acting like a damsel-in-distress) around. Driven halfway up the wall (fingertips touching cobwebs) and thinking that May (my birthday) is still a good 3 months away, I proceeded to relieve my long-suppressed itchiness to inflict pain upon myself. Also, I simply had to take advantage of Simon's infrequent bouts of cheerfulness and helpfulness.

post script: anyone who says that my dolphin looks more like a whale, prepare to die a most agonizing, torturous and horrible death. Because it didn't bloat and I am not getting fatter. And the ring on my finger in the picture above is the ring. *gloat* And my latest is Maori to commemorate the demise of a Maori-an wedding's dream. Bleh. Isn't it luverly?