the l word

So hooked on The L Word. It's funny but wistful, loud but unspeaking. I don't know if it will confuse my already-confused sexual preference any further. Or fuel my resoluteness to come out and stay out. All I know is, I can totally relate. My questions are answered (some of them anyway). I've been bi-curious since my early teen years but I didn't want to be a social pariah so I kept my mouth shut. And jump from one straight guy to another. And then I was with a woman finally but that didn't work out too well either. So it might not be a sexuality problem after all but how I handle relationships in general. I might just be a insatiable curious person craving new experiences craving emotional rollercoasters so I can always remain in this "tortured soul" pain/pleasure plateau and fuel my creativity/angst. I really don't know. And right now. Right now. It's nice to just drift. No extremities.

I wonder if all the characters in the show are lesbians in real life. You've gotta be at least slightly interested to do it until Season 4. That or the money's really good. Looking at the cast, though, I'll do it for the chicks. Anytime.

post-trauma

In the throes of my post-traumatic experience over the weekend, one thing proves true: Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong, will.

Bloody heck. At my financial neediest...
(1) I confirmed another Bangkok trip in October.
(2) My room's air-conditioner is dripping water.
(3) My car is a month late for servicing.
(4) I bought a new insurance policy.
(5) My pc is acting up.
(6) I'm having major period cramps without the period.
(7) Which reminds me I'm a year late for my gynae check-up.
(8) I've 3 wedding gifts to get.

And Pluto got booted from the planetary club. I grew up with 9 planets! Why are there so many changes right now! I cannot swallow!

Shitty mood alert. And you can shove the "so many people are worse off than you so count your blessings" preach up Uranus. Someone's better let me win Scrabble and Boggle at lunch.

trauma

Macibai. I walked 15 minutes under the burning sun to the police station and what do I get? Nothing but a throbbing headache and a bellyful of pissiness. I made my police report yesterday but the nice handsome young police officer said he couldn't get my report stamped and verified because it wasn't a normal working day so could I please come back tomorrow, pay 2 bucks and get the report stamped. Fine. Nevermind. Then just now I wolfed down lunch and did a mini walkathon over. And the bitch in uniform told me the "stamping officer" had gone out for lunch and could I come back an hour later. Stamping officer? What kind of BULL?! Taxpayers are paying an individual salary and supplying him/her a uniform to STAMP police reports? What about the rest of our much-trusted law enforcers who're lounging in the Damansara air-conditioned police station? Macibai indeed.

And I couldn't get a cent out from the bank because I don't have a temporary identity card. I couldn't get a temporary identity card because my police report isn't stamped. I couldn't stamp my police report because... some lazy asswipe sonofagun is too lazy to walk to get the stamp. I presume. I can too.

padini authentic

Grandmafucker! My wallet got stolen today at One Utama. Brought mum for lunch and was browsing through clothes at Padini Authentics at the old wing when some girls swamped me. So big space elsewhere but two of them shoved me while feigning to reach for clothes. I glared at them indignantly and went back to dig clothes for mum. Then I smelled something fishy and quickly checked my handbag. Machaohai it was unzipped halfway. I tore the rest of the zipper open, my heart weighing like lead. My gut feeling was right. Bitches took my wallet! I yelled. Everyone in the shop stared. My mum swore she saw the bitches walked/ran out.

I went to make a report at the info counter. Was still kinda dazed. As I was filling up the Lost Item Report Form, I saw another girl coming to report her stolen wallet as well. She was in Blook, checking out belts when someone shoved her. And ripped her bag open and took her wallet. Fuck. Her two thief-bitches had KNIVES ok. Her bag was literally gutted. Suddenly I realised that I know this girl of similar fate. She was in my college! Cibai. When we're both hugging and lamenting about our misfortune, an angry parent yelled at the info counter people to see their CCTV because his daughter's cellphone was picked. Oh. My. Gee. All within 5 minutes. Makes me wonder how many cases One Utama handles in a day. AND HOW COME THERE'S NO BETTER CCTV SYSTEM INSTALLED!

I demanded to see the CCTV recordings inside Padini Authentics (both floors) and outside on the corridor. Security guard said I need to furnish the police report for them to allow the CCTV recordings to be reviewed. Mahai. Nevermind. I did my police report, cancelled my cards and convinced myself that the 30-second incident really did happen. Then I went back to One Utama, showed them my police report and nicely asked them to check the CCTV recordings. I was sure I could recognise the two bitches. About my age, casual wear, hair in a ponytail, Malay/Filipino.

"I'm sorry Miss. We don't have CCTV inside the outlets."

Bloody hell.

"And our CCTVs on the corridors are static. And I don't think any of them point at Padini Authentics."

Hot bloody hell assreamerunclefuckergrandmalickerlittlekidstoucher.

Why say so confidently I can replay the incident through CCTV recordings and shoo me off to make police report-lah? Mahai. Pissingly I demanded to see the recordings of NEARBY CCTVs anyway. Then have to wait for the guard to photocopy my police report, slowly bring me to the Control Room, yak a few minutes with the supervisor there (who promptly took off after feigning interest in my case for a few minutes)... and then the tape with THE only POSSIBLE angle to identify my two bitches was kaput. When rewound it showed only grainy blackness and the word "Loss"... Macibai I know about my loss already ok. Show me the faces of the bitches so they can print it out big-big and display it everywhere in One Utama so nobody else has to go through what I did. Of course it'd be an added bonus if they're stabbed and robbed on their way home with my wallet... but I'm willing to take that back if One Utama cleaners find my wallet and IC and driver's license and return them to me. And my Uptown parking access and office access cards. And my bloodgroup and insurance healthcard. Take my credit cards, take my ATM cards. Take take take. Take the cash also. Gimme back my documents and important namecards I have inside macibaiiiiiii.

Bitches, may your assholes be infested with the fleas of 1000 Afghan camels and may your arms grow too short to scratch.

One Utama, seriously... do something about the CCTV. And please ask your managers on duty to have some balls. Why don't dare to see me? What kind of effing customer service is this?

tongue

I'm not kidding about the tongue action. Last I checked it hasn't gone into any of my colleague's ear so I guess I'm still alright. Papa Whale did make some colourful remarks though. Hilarious.

I feel damn happy seeing my colleagues displaying the souvenirs I got for them around their workstations. Almost everyone said thank you! I'm so glad I didn't just grab some spicy Thai crackers and chucked them on the studio's table.

Bangkok, I'm coming again! Have more interesting stuff on sale for me, will ya?

back from bangkok

I'm back, alive and kicking. And I can't wait to go back. Bangkok, that is. Not the office drinking session. Because I talk too much when I'm tipsy. And my tongue tends to go places where no tongue has ever gone before. In public.

Mum's coming for a visit this weekend. My stuff are still all over the room. Toilet still clogged with hair. And my baby brother moved out while I was gone.

Drat.

bangkok

Yellow lorry. Say that 10 times. Fast. Then say yellow lorry red lorry. Fast.

I was chanting that as I drifted into fitful sleepdom last night. Boss poisoned my brains with the challenge and I cannot get over not being able to say yellow lorry red lorry 10 times in 10 seconds. Stress! No wonder sleep was plagued by nightmares. Jerked awake 2 times in the middle of the night, once with the corner of my pillow clenched between my teeth. Ugh.

I be flying off to Bangkok tomorrows! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... Can't wait to try Thai massage foot massage manicure pedicure haircut hairdyeing tattoo mango with sticky rice buying Naraya bags by kilos tomyamkung coconut juice dinner cruise Sirocco view...

We shall see how many I manage to strike off the list once I'm back next week. Immediate challenge right now is getting a place to stay. I have an orphan night without accomodation.

And I have many many love for my boss. He shifted the company's drinking session forward so I can get a fix before I fly off (so he says and I choose to believe him, can). Awwww. I'm already grateful as it is that he lets me off for 3 days even though I'm not yet a confirmed staff. I love my Papa Whale.

liquid

I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child
Just little touch of Madonna's wild style
With Janet Jackson's smile
Throw in a body like Jennifer's
You've got the star of my liquid dreams
My liquid dreams

Way to go, O-Town (by the way, anyone knows what's happened to them?). My liquid dreams were shattered at Liquid last night. Most happening gay bar in town my foot. Got me so excited about the All Girls' Party for nothing.

See. No people on the dancefloor. Damn dead the party. Turn out wasn't fantastic also. But it was still an eye-opener for me, seeing so many girls who like girls dancing and hugging/kissing/groping. The pairings are so... vibrant. And all along I thought the masculine-looking ones will pair up with feminine softies with wavy locks. The possibilities... wow. Educational. Then there's this yummylicious chain-smoking andro surrounded by superhot chicks... dayum!

Maybe because it's pole-dancing night, that's why the party was deader than a vulture-infested bloated carcass in the Gobi. When I wasn't standing at a corner feigning interest at the dancing crowd while checking out the hot andro, I sat at the bar with my beer (they only have Carlsberg, Guiness or mineral water! What the....) and camwhored.

And I think I took pictures at 20 different angles of this same bottle and lantern light. Did I say how dead the party was?