Lookie my long fingernails! They're fake (but not as fake as stick-ons), yep, but imagine the joy when I drum my fingers on any surface and hear clickety-clacks instead of dull meaty thud-thuds. I have been biting my fingernails since high school. Used to bite my toe-nails too while watching telly, back in those days when I was still agile and bendy. Nevermind the fact that my hand here looks like an arthritis-ridden shrivelled claw. Nevermind the fact that my nails are pink instead of some cool goth punk color. They are long! They are magnificent! They are free of charge! Yep. Perks of being in the industry. I saw someone doing the same manicure, nail extension and sculpturing package for 100 bucks. Whoa. I really must put in more effort in her ad.
Manicurist said once I start doing my nails I'd get hooked and ask for pedicure next. I scoffed. I wouldn't mind extending my nails for 2 years (i.e. weekly touch-ups or wash mine off for a new set) but pedicure is for the rich and extravagant. She smiled and said "we'll see". Tres creepy.
Sudden realisation:
(1) I can't pick my nose as dexterously as before.
(2) I can't play bass for the band.
(3) I haven't shampooed my hair since I did the nails.
(4) I might have to postpone doing laundry for as long as the nails stay attached.
Something that she said as she was doing me (giggle) which was 100% accurate, was that non-smokers in the advertising line have very bad nails. When one needs to think, a smoker smokes and a non-smoker chews on fingernails and sucks the blood oozing out from the too-deep bites. She didn't neglect to add in the fact that out of all her nail-biters customers, I have the worst, tiniest, pathetickest nails. Wow. How nice to be on top of the list for something. Tee hee.
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